Face your Demons

Days pass by and we hide behind our daily routines. We pretend nothing worries us, we pretend that this is life as usual. And this nagging feeling deep inside is just normal.

Each one of us has a hidden demon in his life. A demon that we keep hidding in our closet and do all our best to drown its scary screams with our daily life's noise. And the nagging feeling is our hidden awareness of its presence.

One day, suddenly, we are asked to open the closet to get 'something' out of it. We deny the need to get this 'something'. We come up with excuses so as not to open the closet like we've lost the keys or it is a mess and we won't be able to find anything. We fight our ownselves to find a convincing excuse to not open the closet. The nagging feeling becomes more and more obvious and obnoxious. We are confused, worried. The stress level increases.

We convince ourselves that this stress is from the fact that noone understands us, that noone understands that it is not important to get this 'something' from the closet. We go on denying that we are scared to death from facing what's inside the closet.

The moment of confrontation comes, after sleepless days and hours of exhaustive thinking about a way out of the situation. With hazzy steps we move towards the closet. The screams become clearer. We try to remember when we first met the demon, how we trapped it and closed the closet. But we remember nothing. We try to imagine what will happen when we face it. The best and worst scenarios goes through our minds. We visualize ourselves as victorious knights coming out of a battle with his flag in hand and a big smile, feeling ecstasy to encourage ourselves or as a victim of war dying in the ruins.

We collect our courage and open the closet. The darkness slowly withdraws, the screams are silenced. We look ahead of us and there is nothing. The closet is empty. The demon was in our mind not really in the closet. We were misleading ourselves.

At the moment, we face our demon, it vanishes forever. If we never collect ourselves to open the closet, we will forever live with this nagging feeling and illusional noises. We will forever live with stress, and only try to adapt to it instead of ending it. We need to face our fears, take actions to change, say the words that has been long unsaid and learn the lessons from the past, our past and others past.

So face your demons today or when the 'something' comes don't hesitate to open the closet and get it. But never waste your life in fear and anguish.

This is what jwoman has to say for today.

Me versus Me

When we make a fresh start in life and leave behind our well known life , we sometimes feel scared of all the change , all the unknown. 

I felt this way, when I suddenly found myself in new lands, I never knew. When I took the decision to make a change to my life, I took it quick so as not to retreat back to my comfortable known zone. And after a while, I found myself looking back and wishing I was back there again. It was a moment and then I checked myself and screamed at me, "Have you forgotten everything?Are you an alzeheimer patient? If so, go get treated."

I realized that my mind has been playing tricks on me, making me past-sick. It was making me sick to all that I was used to. To hide my fear from what I still don't know it beautified the past, to look more appealing and covered all the pain and disappointment I had to live through.

It is war time. Me versus Me. It's battle time and I have to win the battle against me, my mind and this machine called my brain. It is deluding me. 

At this time, we need all our strength to keep focused and keep things straight and clear. Just one weakness and we may lose it all. If at any moment, my urge to go back increased to a level greater that the urge to keep my newly gained achievements, I am back at point zero or even lower. This, according to me, means I will never get out of this ever again. I will be back to a life I once left but this time with no will or energy to leave again and I will forever remember that I failed to leave and thus, will never attempt it again.

So, what is needed is a firm grip on yourself. Remind yourself of the past, the real past and what made you leave at the first place. Remind yourself of how great it was when you took the first initial step out of the past.

Keep a smile and go on. Stop looking back.

This is what jwoman has to say today.