And again I am not ok

 Yes, I am not ok.

And I havent been ok for a long time now. I am in a very dark place and it is getting darker by the second. I try, I push back and push back trying to get out and it seems that I am going towards the light then I just fall back.

I am so lonely, so hurt, so frustrated and again so lonely.

Life is a very gloomy place to be and I am lost in the silence of isolation and loneliness. It seems like I am navigating through the endless seas of life, alone with no crew on deck or below it. I am alone trying to take control of my ship where as the fact is the wind is tossing me to random directions going towards nowhere. My ship just sails and sails and nothing around but silence, endless seas broken just by a sound of a flock of birds flying overhead or the wind blowing my sails and sometimes rocking the ship so hard. 

The birds hail land but no land appear in the horizon, it is always this endless blue seas.

And yes, I am not ok.