jWoman is forty today!

Today I close my fourth decade on this earth. A decade ends and a new one starts. I hope I am wiser than when I started my thirties, I am happier and much more calmer. 

I remember this day a decade ago, 10 years ago! I started my thirties in the middle of the Arabic spring, in the streets of my beloved city Alexandria, marching and asking for freedom, for the right to have a voice, to exist. 

As difficult as those years were, they brought me to where I am today, and you do not regret one bit of that. I won't start on the cheesy lines of age is just a number blah, blah, blah. But I know things look so clearer and calmer now I am forty (woooow, that is super weird hearing myself say it!!!!), than when I was thirty. 

The last decade held so much, 

    a revolution, marching the streets, shouting at the top of your lungs, the illusion of making a difference and the ecstatic feeling it brings, divorce, love and loss intertwined, broken hearts, friendships lost and gained, saying goodbyes and saying hellos, leaving home, making a new home, aloneness and loneliness, being a student again, starting a new career, toxic workplace, leaving and starting over, restarting career again, opening up, being scared but yet getting out of bed every morning.

And here I am 10 years from 27/7/2011, in 2021.  I am a different version of myself, the little girl of 10 is still there along with the hesitant angry young woman at 20, and that too-sure of herself 30-year-old me. They are there, but quieter, smarter and less sure of themselves :).

I know a lot but the most important thing is that I am still missing a lot more. There is so much more to learn and see and experience and as long as I am here I will live, breathe and enjoy.

Enjoy the little things, the voice of a friend, the taste of a hot cup of coffee in the early morning, the smile on a little child or a cheeky naughty one, a small pink bud barely visible in the tree in my front yard is enough.

I understand now that nothing will make me happy and no one, I am the only one able to achieve this. And happiness is not a goal that I will reach when something happens. No happiness is a way of living, a lifestyle, a diet ;). And enjoying the journey is what life is all about.

So my dear friends, stay safe, be happy and enjoy the ride.

This is what jWoman has to say today.