Autism

Autism is a phenomenon that has always fascinated me. I researched it a lot especially after watching Carly flietcherman video by chance. Then there was the movie "Temple Grandin" and watching videos on YouTube About Temple and her lectures and talks.

Only 15% of them has jobs, business are missing what autistic people can bring into their businesses.

People with autism tend to have a detail focus, that is they see and observe many details in our world, which many neurotypicals tend to miss. They have an eye for detail.

We, neurotypicals tend to see what we they expect to see, what they know from context or experience. But people with autism see things as they are. They have an original perspective not stained by context.

Temple Grandin, "If it had been left to neurotypicals, we would all be sitting down in caves gossiping round the camp-fire. We would have never gone and invented the wheel."

SAP has that by 2020, 1% of their working force will be in the autistic spectrum.

Watch this inteseting talk about people with autism at work.

Go and find more about autism and its wide spectrum.

This is what jWoman has to say for today.

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I am a christian and I am an Egyptian, I was born an orthodox christian egyptian female. These are the tags attached to me since birth. That was just the start.

I grew up in an eastern society, I never took that into consideration. I was a naive introvert. But after thirty years my mum confessed that she lived her life scared to death, that I d fall in love with one of my Muslim friends. And whenever she saw one getting too close, she would panic. I never saw that. I don't know why I never fell for one of them, but that was what happened. In fact, the only truth is I never thought about it.

Lost your track, made a bad choice, grew up out of your current relationship status, or any other reason why you can't go on in your marriage is entirely a personal matter, in my opinion. In our society and in our world it is not. It is a matter that concerns the state, the law, the church, the family and everyone around and at the very end of the list comes you.

Everyone has an opinion, everyone has a saying. Some sympathises but see you to blame since you went into it in the first place. Why did you ever marry such a guy? And I don't have to answer. I don't have to give reasons why I did that, or even why I can't go on?

Everyone is curious to know the juicy details. Did he cheat on you? Did you catch him in bed with another woman? Is he a sexual pervert? What happened, just tell us. You have to give us details, reasons.

Write all the details down, maybe we will think you are worth a divorce, maybe not.

What is religious about that? Is it religious to take out your marital secrets just to get a divorce and you might need to add some spices or even make up stories just to convince the holy jury.

My life suddenly is exposed and under the mercy of other human beings.

Why can't I live like a civilized human being, why not? Is it because I did the mistake of getting married in an orthodox church??!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They ban any civilian marriage between two Christians and the church treat them as outcasts and more!

So what's the solution, how can we spare ourselves, stay civilized and keep our sanity in this society where no one respects the other's rights or privacy.

I can't be part of that, I won't do that.

AND I don't need a man to look good

jwoman has nothing more to say
:(

My Readings: Mrs Dalloway

Mrs Dalloway and the good atheist.

“Oddly enough, she was one of the most thoroughgoing sceptics he had ever met, and possibly (this was a theory he used to make up to account for her, so transparent in some ways, so inscrutable in others), possibly she said to herself, As we are a doomed race, chained to a sinking ship (her favourite reading as a girl was Huxley and Tyndall, and they were fond of these nautical metaphors), as the whole thing is a bad joke, let us, at any rate, do “our part; mitigate the sufferings of our fellow-prisoners (Huxley again); decorate the dungeon with flowers and air-cushions; be as decent as we possibly can. Those ruffians, the Gods, shan't have it all their own way,—her notion being that the Gods, who never lost a chance of hurting, thwarting and spoiling human lives were seriously put out if, all the same, you behaved like a lady. That phase came directly after Sylvia's death—that horrible affair. To see your own sister killed by a falling tree (all Justin Parry's fault—all his carelessness) before your very eyes, a girl too on the verge of life, the most gifted of them, Clarissa always said, was enough to turn one bitter. Later she wasn't so positive perhaps; she thought there were no Gods; no one was to blame; and so she evolved this atheist's religion of doing good for the sake of goodness.”

I didn't like Clarissa at all, she represented all that I detested. (I remember this sentence from The Great Gatsby.)  She is a pretentious old woman. She has been pretending all her life. All her choices were made according to the image she wanted to project, not what she really wanted. Something not real and not genuine were my only feelings towards her. 

The quote I pasted above touched me so much. She lost faith in God, but she kept her virtue, he good making. She made up her own atheist's religion. Part of this, I think, is to fulfill the image she wants to reflect. She wants to do what is righteous and good, so that she is known as the good Lady Clarissa. Does she really believe this is good or does it only for the illusion of good. I think, she is all into the illusion, and deep in her restless soul she believes not.

What is LIGHT?

Today I woke up and found myself thinking of the word LIGHT. I felt fascinated by it. We use it often, it multiple different ways. In religion , light always refers to God, immortality, the other life, the good.

"I am the light of the world."   John 8:12

In nature and physics, light is an electromagnetic radiation, a wave and a particle. It has a duality nature. Light is why we see. Without light, our eyes will be useless. To be seen, our surfaces, our bodies need to reflect light. Sarcastically enough, shadows wont be there either, without light. In literature, sometimes light is clarity. It signifies knowledge, wisdom, an enlightened person. 

Then comes light as an adjective, or a word that precedes another to signify an easier, smaller, less version, like light-weight, light-beer, light-lunch.  Light can mean nice, causing happiness or a comic. A light film, is mostly a nice superficial film that make you happy but adds nothing to you, or so goes the stereotype.

Then, I started thinking, what is light to me? Light is what keeps complete darkness out of my life. It is hope, the good inside me. It is the feeling of pure joy, where your body seem weightless and you can be anywhere without really being there. Light gives me peace.

This is what jWoman has to say for today.

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I want to cry and scream till I have no voice and run out of tears. Can I really run out of tears? Can I lose my voice? And what next will the pent up emotions vanish? Will the pain go away?

I want to bang my head against a wall, maybe the pain of my fractured skull will hide the pain in my heart.

Can I one day do it?
Will I one day take it away?
It will end the pain in my chest, it will end the meaningless chain of days.

I will one day, gather my courage, and accelerate my life to its closure.

jWoman is meaningless, purposeless, worthless.

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After a few days, I am re-reading my own words and it scares me. I am afraid of myself, how deep I can go? Nighttime is the worst.

I have my pain, but I still have a life to live. The fight is not over, but I am still alive with all my potentials, my weaknesses and my strengths, my pure beauty.

I have to keep away from nighttime fits, I have to use my loneliness, my boredom, my nights more fruitfully.

I am struggling to keep my faith in humanity, in myself, in GOD. I do that with a smile, and a deep breathe.

jWoman is back