I tried to give up but failed
I tried to give in and also failed.
My heart is so persistent and my head too stubborn.
I don't have an answer to this question. I am still trying every mental game to trick my mind into accepting and going on.
I am not even sure that there is a solution, or an answer. For me, the main problem was that I never had a final closure, no ending. In addition, one question still hung in my personal energy circumference. This question was WHY?
I fought with that question so long. It ate my days and consumed my energy without an end. I started questioning myself, is it my fault? And found myself slowly falling into the pit of self-pity, self-doubt and self-hatred. Things at this point goes south so easily.
I am not a weak woman, I have a good career. Everyone I know likes me, respects me, appreciates my presence and my existence and to some people I make a difference. I reminded myself of that.
I do believe in God, and I saw how He extended his hand to me and supported my back so I don't fall. He sent me people to remind me of my worth. It might sound pathetic to need reassurance from others but truly, that's what you need at this low point of your life, when you feel you are a loser.
Everyone, and I really mean everyone, deserves to be loved and appreciated. I believe in that. However, sometimes, our souls and minds interact with the universe in ways that we don't completely comprehend giving us the things that we think we don't want and taking from us what we think we wholeheartedly desire.
I, also, believe in karma and the rules of the universe, where "What goes around, comes around." Believing in that means to me, that I have to give in to what I can't change and accept to pay price for things I don't understand or acknowledge. It, also, means that I need to give love and forgiveness more.
To forgive is to forget, Jesus taught his disciples to forgive. Can I really forgive him, can I forget the pain? As a weak human, I can't. But I try to do that slowly, gradually. Maybe I will one day reach that point of forgiveness.
It seems my brain is working against me, in that perspective. My memory works so well in bringing him up in every occasion possible, indeed in every moment of my waking hours and unfortunately, my subconscious creates illusions of him in my dreams too.
My very dear friend and my support told me once that I am still holding on to a very fine thread. I am still holding on to the hope of getting back together and that's why I can't get him out of my mind. I know she is right. However, I don't know the technique of letting go. And that's why I am writing this. To me writing had always been a way to better understand myself. It was my method to mend and heal my broken pieces. In the past, it always helped me figure out how I feel, and made me face the reality I was hiding from.
I am dealing with it now as an addiction case where I have to suffer from withdrawal symptoms and pains to get clean. I am detoxing my life of his presence and it is a long painful process. I am not sure of the state I will be in at the end of this tunnel. What are the losses, I will have to endure.
Some researchers say that heartbreak and breaking up can give you pain that your brain perceives as actual pain. Studies even showed that people with heartbreak show similar symptoms to cocaine withdrawal. So facing it and being patient is my only way out, my only way to regain control over my life.
With the help of my friend and her loving family, I can go through this and emerge in a better state. Friends are your life saver during hard times.
Finally, I think to get over someone you still love you should,
This is what jWoman has to say today.
I tried to give in and also failed.
My heart is so persistent and my head too stubborn.
"How do you get over someone you still love?"
I don't have an answer to this question. I am still trying every mental game to trick my mind into accepting and going on.
I am not even sure that there is a solution, or an answer. For me, the main problem was that I never had a final closure, no ending. In addition, one question still hung in my personal energy circumference. This question was WHY?
I fought with that question so long. It ate my days and consumed my energy without an end. I started questioning myself, is it my fault? And found myself slowly falling into the pit of self-pity, self-doubt and self-hatred. Things at this point goes south so easily.
I am not a weak woman, I have a good career. Everyone I know likes me, respects me, appreciates my presence and my existence and to some people I make a difference. I reminded myself of that.
I do believe in God, and I saw how He extended his hand to me and supported my back so I don't fall. He sent me people to remind me of my worth. It might sound pathetic to need reassurance from others but truly, that's what you need at this low point of your life, when you feel you are a loser.
Everyone, and I really mean everyone, deserves to be loved and appreciated. I believe in that. However, sometimes, our souls and minds interact with the universe in ways that we don't completely comprehend giving us the things that we think we don't want and taking from us what we think we wholeheartedly desire.
I, also, believe in karma and the rules of the universe, where "What goes around, comes around." Believing in that means to me, that I have to give in to what I can't change and accept to pay price for things I don't understand or acknowledge. It, also, means that I need to give love and forgiveness more.
To forgive is to forget, Jesus taught his disciples to forgive. Can I really forgive him, can I forget the pain? As a weak human, I can't. But I try to do that slowly, gradually. Maybe I will one day reach that point of forgiveness.
It seems my brain is working against me, in that perspective. My memory works so well in bringing him up in every occasion possible, indeed in every moment of my waking hours and unfortunately, my subconscious creates illusions of him in my dreams too.
My very dear friend and my support told me once that I am still holding on to a very fine thread. I am still holding on to the hope of getting back together and that's why I can't get him out of my mind. I know she is right. However, I don't know the technique of letting go. And that's why I am writing this. To me writing had always been a way to better understand myself. It was my method to mend and heal my broken pieces. In the past, it always helped me figure out how I feel, and made me face the reality I was hiding from.
I am dealing with it now as an addiction case where I have to suffer from withdrawal symptoms and pains to get clean. I am detoxing my life of his presence and it is a long painful process. I am not sure of the state I will be in at the end of this tunnel. What are the losses, I will have to endure.
Some researchers say that heartbreak and breaking up can give you pain that your brain perceives as actual pain. Studies even showed that people with heartbreak show similar symptoms to cocaine withdrawal. So facing it and being patient is my only way out, my only way to regain control over my life.
With the help of my friend and her loving family, I can go through this and emerge in a better state. Friends are your life saver during hard times.
Finally, I think to get over someone you still love you should,
- First take the decision and be strict in acting accordingly.
- Use the help and care of your support circle, friends and family.
- Stop playing the role of the victim and face reality.
- Love yourself, your faults before your virtues.
- Don't live in the drama but live in TODAY, in the NOW.
- Do things you love.
- Don't postpone living your life, don't wait for someone or something to happen in your life.
Just let go and give in to life, let Karma play its role and soon good will come your way.
This is what jWoman has to say today.
