The Rainbow

A few days ago, as I was walking to work early in the morning, I saw a colorful rainbow across the just un-clouding sky. It has been raining all night and the whole week had  grey, cloudy mornings. However, that morning was different.  The sun was finally showing from between the vapourizing clouds. And across the sky, a beautiful rainbow was painted.

It made me think, rainbows are delightful and a symbol of hope and to me, it reminded me of my faith. It is not always there, but I have to remember that it is there. I try to keep remembering that one day these clouds will vanish and for a brief instant I will see what really matters, the only real meaning of things. Those moments are rare to capture, just like a rainbow but I need to remember that it is there.

At some moments, I lose my faith in love, in humanity and most sorrowfully in God. Life can get so dark that I don't see the end of the tunnel. The darkest part of night is just before dawn but sometimes I fail to wait anymore. I feel so tired and forget that there are rainbows. I forget about what's important. All I remember is the frustration, the impatience I feel.  

That rainbow made my day, made me remember what was important.


This is what jWoman had to say for today.

P.S. There is a novel by D.H. Lawrence called The Rainbow. I think I will reread it when I finish my current book.

On pain and life

Pain is a very personal experience. I think, it is one of the hardest experience to really share. It's not just physiological pain, but there is also and most importantly, psycological pain. Pain that can't be visualized to the outside world is an even more difficult experience to share.

Pain distorts our characteristics, it dominates our actions and reactions. The more we deny it's presence, the more it dominates us.

Pain, in some of us, is a drive to cause others to suffer from pain. We are so hurting inside and can't express it nor can we really acknowledge it's presence. Thus, we feel compelled to make others suffer. "Why do I suffer alone?" is the dark thought buried so deep inside our subconscious. We never confess we are nursing such a thought, but we do secretly, against our own will.

We all have multiple faces that we show to the world. I believe they are all partially true. A face we show to strangers, a face for acquaintances or colleagues, a face for friends, a face for family and a face for real close loved ones. Some of us may have more or less of these faces. They project what we want to show to the different categories of people. Pain and hurt distorts these faces, distorts our peace of mind and our judgement. We draw a smile and wear the mask that we want people to see but pain drives us to act in an opposing manner. Some people just need to see others hurt, just because they are hurt.


This is what jWoman wants to say, an old note that was left a draft for so long.