I still discover myself with every passing day. I thought I have known everything but still I have more to discover. It's a fascinating journey into the human depth, especially if it's your own depth you are discovering. Pain is an accompanying factor to discovery. But pain is not always suffering, there is some kinds of pain that do not hurt but change. Pain teach you how to be stronger, if you are alert enough to observe and perceive that.
In this journey, I had to go far and do all the things I feared most and in the end, I discovered, "It isn't as scary as I thought". I was always afraid of living alone, especially since this implied that I will die alone. Now, I don't care. I am not afraid of living alone, I faced it and came into terms with my loneliness. Sometimes, I can even make it a chosen state of aloneness not loneliness.
As for the dying alone thing, this is the part I don't care for. For a start, worrying about that won't make a difference. Second, even if it did happen, it is not bad since I will die anyway. Third, I have made my adjustments to loneliness. It is not scary anymore. I faced it, looked it in the face and found I am ok with it.
I do feel lonely and sad at times but I perceive that and don't let it control myself but just get over it. The main part there is that it is not scary. I have successfully omitted fear from the equation.
I used to think that people are one of two types. People who conform to rules and traditions all the time and people who just broke all of them all the time. People who lived life just like traditions says and people who never does. I have known people and always tried to categorize them into one of the 2 categories. But as I walked to work the other day, I was thinking of where do I fit, and fit in neither. I am a conformist in many things, I have lived big parts of my life just according to traditions, rules and religion but I did had my rebellion spots, and they were real non-conformists.
As I walk everyday to work, mostly I would follow the paved road but occasionally and purposefully, I would just walk through the rough ground taking shortcuts. I did each purposefully but not with an intent to conform or rebel.
I do like to play according the rules most of the time, but at whims I like to break them and when circumstances ask for, I do what I need to do, like when I am late for a meeting.
A person, I used to know, had this funny idea that you have to be an extremist, that in-between is lame. That you can't have partial characteristics but I always loved fuzzy logic where you are a member of multiple groups. Your membership to each group is what characterises you and your decisions. And the value of this membership change with time and experience. Everything change as you grow older.
And I am a fuzzy person, I think a lot, act differently than the stereotype placed for my likes mostly, but do conform too.
That's a real different blog.
That's what jWoman have to say for today.
In this journey, I had to go far and do all the things I feared most and in the end, I discovered, "It isn't as scary as I thought". I was always afraid of living alone, especially since this implied that I will die alone. Now, I don't care. I am not afraid of living alone, I faced it and came into terms with my loneliness. Sometimes, I can even make it a chosen state of aloneness not loneliness.
As for the dying alone thing, this is the part I don't care for. For a start, worrying about that won't make a difference. Second, even if it did happen, it is not bad since I will die anyway. Third, I have made my adjustments to loneliness. It is not scary anymore. I faced it, looked it in the face and found I am ok with it.
I do feel lonely and sad at times but I perceive that and don't let it control myself but just get over it. The main part there is that it is not scary. I have successfully omitted fear from the equation.
I used to think that people are one of two types. People who conform to rules and traditions all the time and people who just broke all of them all the time. People who lived life just like traditions says and people who never does. I have known people and always tried to categorize them into one of the 2 categories. But as I walked to work the other day, I was thinking of where do I fit, and fit in neither. I am a conformist in many things, I have lived big parts of my life just according to traditions, rules and religion but I did had my rebellion spots, and they were real non-conformists.
As I walk everyday to work, mostly I would follow the paved road but occasionally and purposefully, I would just walk through the rough ground taking shortcuts. I did each purposefully but not with an intent to conform or rebel.
I do like to play according the rules most of the time, but at whims I like to break them and when circumstances ask for, I do what I need to do, like when I am late for a meeting.
A person, I used to know, had this funny idea that you have to be an extremist, that in-between is lame. That you can't have partial characteristics but I always loved fuzzy logic where you are a member of multiple groups. Your membership to each group is what characterises you and your decisions. And the value of this membership change with time and experience. Everything change as you grow older.
And I am a fuzzy person, I think a lot, act differently than the stereotype placed for my likes mostly, but do conform too.
That's a real different blog.
That's what jWoman have to say for today.
