Hey there,
It is jWoman again,
Yesterday and today were pretty eventful to me. They were indeed pivotal days in my life ( a friend told me so too.). In these two days, I was forced to face one of my worst fears and overcome the paralysing effect of fear. I learnt to act because I had no other thing to do but act. When I tell you, my dear readers (if there is anyone reading my blog 😉), you might thing that it is a trivial thing. But, living inside my body and being controlled by my brain it is not. So I will try to make you walk in my shoes, hoping you may be courteous enough to hear me out.
Yesterday, I had two encounters with mice (two mice, to be specific). It is not yet the season of mice around this part of the year, but I think with all the bush fires, smoke and continuous hot/cold weather, things are changing and mice decided to come after me 😆.
In the morning, I went to the office as usual. I was a bit early so no one was there, plus this is the time of year when most people take their breaks (summer break). I was planning on having a quiet day (As I predicted no one will be around in my working area) to finish some reading and get some work accomplished. I was making my coffee in the little kitchenette, when I decided it was getting too warm and I need to open the AC. We have a split unit, which is located just behind my chair. So, I pressed the button and was on my way to continue making my coffee when I heard a clicking noise that was not normal, coming out of the AC as it was trying to open it's shutters. And I looked around to see a small mouse falling out of the opening shutters.
😵😲😲😲😲😖😖😖😮😮😮😮😮😲😲😲
I screamed and was frozen in my spot for a few minutes. Yes, this is my worst nightmare. I cannot deal with these small disgusting living creatures. I can deal with difficulties with insects and spiders. But mice, are warm, heart beating beings, which are also so disgusting. It took me some minutes, to convince myself to move and approach my desk, to find the poor thing laying there next to the wall. It was dead or so I thought.
I couldn't convince myself to go nearer or try and remove it. Astonishingly, I pitied it and it looked so cute and small, soooooo small. But no I cannot. I was alone, no one to help and I could not do it. So I just took my things and tried to work on another empty desk. I peeked at the little thing every now and then, tried to concentrate to no end. It was useless, to stay but ...... no I won't let that little dead thing ruin my day. I insisted on staying and working.
And at one instance, I extended my neck to have a peek of the little dead thing and it was not there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It must haven't been dead. It must have just been unconscious or maybe sleeping !!!! And it is not there anymore. Where is it I do not know. It is gone under one of the cupboards. The strange thing is I was relieved, I didn't have to kill it or remove it. I just need to make sure it didnot come out to me again. So I had to produced noise to scare it and that what I did. I opened my browser and played some songs from YouTube and just continued my day. All the time just making noise, to ensure my sanity 😆.
I was spared this time from facing my fear, but not for long. In the evening, as I was just going to close up for the night. I heard a loud sound coming from the other side of the house, the side where the bathroom and the backyard. Also, living in my body and brain would mean that I was completely paralyzed by fear, my heart rate just hit the rooftop, and I could feel my pulse on the side of my neck.......
I feel it is too long for you guys, but I have to tell you the whole story.
And yes it was a mouse just fell into my bath tub and was struggling to get out. And for the second time in the same day, I am faced with that little creature.
Why me? Why again today? I could not stop thinking about that. And this time, inside my place and it is after midnight.
All, I could do was close the bathroom door, make sure to block the small space under the door with clothes and stand there behind the closed door and think. eventually, I got some mice poison and threw it into the tub from the door without setting one foot inside, and on my mothers advice I got some insecticide and also sprayed at the poor thing from the doorway, which meant that the insecticide hardly reached him, but I couldn't step inside.
And I spent the night thinking of that creature there and my fear. Why did it happen twice on the same day? Why was life so persistent to make me face this situation. I am kinda spiritual and felt there was something more to the situation.
I need to stop running and face the music but I was still scared.
I will spare you all the details of what happened next, is that I had to face it in the morning and remove it myself. I tried to escape by calling a friend or looking for help on AirTasker but eventually I found that I have to do it myself. And I did, my feet were shivering and heart was thumping but I moved the dead things and cleaned the whole space.
The funny thing was I went to work to find the other mouse trapped in a mice trap and dead too. But NOOOOO, I didn't do it again, thanks God, a colleague was around and removed it.
After two eventful, stressful days I had to think about it all. And I questioned myself, why did that happen and what does it mean.
Looking into the spiritual symbolism of mice, I found that it is a symbol asking you to look at what is right of your eyes and then take action accordingly. It might also be reminding you not to neglect the trivial but necessary things in life. That is to say focusing on one aspect of life and missing other opportunities that surround you. It could also be warning you that you are trying to do too many things at the same time.
I don't know yet which was meant for me, but what I am sure of is that this morning, life again showed me never say never. Life should me that there are still things that I can do which I thought I would never do. You never know how resilient and strong you can be unless you have no other way but be. And again I remember what I once wrote a few years ago, about the facing our demons, yes I needed to face my demon, which I hid in a closet for so long. And when I faced it, it turned out to be nothing. There is nothing to fear from a little dead mouse, I had face it and deal with it to know that.
But I still hope never to face that again.
This is what jWoman learnt today.
It is jWoman again,
Yesterday and today were pretty eventful to me. They were indeed pivotal days in my life ( a friend told me so too.). In these two days, I was forced to face one of my worst fears and overcome the paralysing effect of fear. I learnt to act because I had no other thing to do but act. When I tell you, my dear readers (if there is anyone reading my blog 😉), you might thing that it is a trivial thing. But, living inside my body and being controlled by my brain it is not. So I will try to make you walk in my shoes, hoping you may be courteous enough to hear me out.
Yesterday, I had two encounters with mice (two mice, to be specific). It is not yet the season of mice around this part of the year, but I think with all the bush fires, smoke and continuous hot/cold weather, things are changing and mice decided to come after me 😆.
In the morning, I went to the office as usual. I was a bit early so no one was there, plus this is the time of year when most people take their breaks (summer break). I was planning on having a quiet day (As I predicted no one will be around in my working area) to finish some reading and get some work accomplished. I was making my coffee in the little kitchenette, when I decided it was getting too warm and I need to open the AC. We have a split unit, which is located just behind my chair. So, I pressed the button and was on my way to continue making my coffee when I heard a clicking noise that was not normal, coming out of the AC as it was trying to open it's shutters. And I looked around to see a small mouse falling out of the opening shutters.
😵😲😲😲😲😖😖😖😮😮😮😮😮😲😲😲
I screamed and was frozen in my spot for a few minutes. Yes, this is my worst nightmare. I cannot deal with these small disgusting living creatures. I can deal with difficulties with insects and spiders. But mice, are warm, heart beating beings, which are also so disgusting. It took me some minutes, to convince myself to move and approach my desk, to find the poor thing laying there next to the wall. It was dead or so I thought.
I couldn't convince myself to go nearer or try and remove it. Astonishingly, I pitied it and it looked so cute and small, soooooo small. But no I cannot. I was alone, no one to help and I could not do it. So I just took my things and tried to work on another empty desk. I peeked at the little thing every now and then, tried to concentrate to no end. It was useless, to stay but ...... no I won't let that little dead thing ruin my day. I insisted on staying and working.
And at one instance, I extended my neck to have a peek of the little dead thing and it was not there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It must haven't been dead. It must have just been unconscious or maybe sleeping !!!! And it is not there anymore. Where is it I do not know. It is gone under one of the cupboards. The strange thing is I was relieved, I didn't have to kill it or remove it. I just need to make sure it didnot come out to me again. So I had to produced noise to scare it and that what I did. I opened my browser and played some songs from YouTube and just continued my day. All the time just making noise, to ensure my sanity 😆.
I was spared this time from facing my fear, but not for long. In the evening, as I was just going to close up for the night. I heard a loud sound coming from the other side of the house, the side where the bathroom and the backyard. Also, living in my body and brain would mean that I was completely paralyzed by fear, my heart rate just hit the rooftop, and I could feel my pulse on the side of my neck.......
I feel it is too long for you guys, but I have to tell you the whole story.
And yes it was a mouse just fell into my bath tub and was struggling to get out. And for the second time in the same day, I am faced with that little creature.
Why me? Why again today? I could not stop thinking about that. And this time, inside my place and it is after midnight.
All, I could do was close the bathroom door, make sure to block the small space under the door with clothes and stand there behind the closed door and think. eventually, I got some mice poison and threw it into the tub from the door without setting one foot inside, and on my mothers advice I got some insecticide and also sprayed at the poor thing from the doorway, which meant that the insecticide hardly reached him, but I couldn't step inside.
And I spent the night thinking of that creature there and my fear. Why did it happen twice on the same day? Why was life so persistent to make me face this situation. I am kinda spiritual and felt there was something more to the situation.
I need to stop running and face the music but I was still scared.
I will spare you all the details of what happened next, is that I had to face it in the morning and remove it myself. I tried to escape by calling a friend or looking for help on AirTasker but eventually I found that I have to do it myself. And I did, my feet were shivering and heart was thumping but I moved the dead things and cleaned the whole space.
The funny thing was I went to work to find the other mouse trapped in a mice trap and dead too. But NOOOOO, I didn't do it again, thanks God, a colleague was around and removed it.
After two eventful, stressful days I had to think about it all. And I questioned myself, why did that happen and what does it mean.
Looking into the spiritual symbolism of mice, I found that it is a symbol asking you to look at what is right of your eyes and then take action accordingly. It might also be reminding you not to neglect the trivial but necessary things in life. That is to say focusing on one aspect of life and missing other opportunities that surround you. It could also be warning you that you are trying to do too many things at the same time.
I don't know yet which was meant for me, but what I am sure of is that this morning, life again showed me never say never. Life should me that there are still things that I can do which I thought I would never do. You never know how resilient and strong you can be unless you have no other way but be. And again I remember what I once wrote a few years ago, about the facing our demons, yes I needed to face my demon, which I hid in a closet for so long. And when I faced it, it turned out to be nothing. There is nothing to fear from a little dead mouse, I had face it and deal with it to know that.
But I still hope never to face that again.
This is what jWoman learnt today.
